


Status Quo

by kierathefangirl



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: #random inspiration ftw, Aliens, Bisexuality, Dark, F/M, Homosexuality, IDK I wrote this entirely on a whim even I'm not sure what's going on at times, Interdimensional Travel, M/M, Multi, North & South Italy are transgender, OC families - Freeform, Powered AU, Spamano but in space, Starship/Starkid inspired, THE WHOLE RAINBOW HBTQA+, VERY dark backstories (especially Lovi's), a bit cynical, most characters are human, others are half-alien, pansexuality, poor Italy brothers, powers, rich Spain & German brothers, rich a$$holes, some are alien, spacey, spamano - Freeform, there's a lot going on, this was a random whim listening to Status Quo by StarKid Productions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 21:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16003949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierathefangirl/pseuds/kierathefangirl
Summary: "I’m going to take the biggest risk of my life. I’m going to infiltrate the elitist voyage into the unknown." ~Lovi, chapter 1The rich are running the world, and Lovi's brother is dying. It's time to take some huge risks to save family.





	1. Infiltration Of The Elite Stupid-Rich Voyage

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Lovi's backstory is directly brought up/almost spelled out at some points. Involves rape & LGBTQA+ problems & abuse & homophobia/transphobia. It's REALLY dark. I was shuddering while writing it...it's bad.
> 
> Anonymous commenting is on~! Feel free to give me any ideas (I get writer's block and will take commissions/new chapter ideas) and use any name you like (nothing TOO overly inappropriate tho)! I love hearing from readers. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi makes a plan.

**_~Lovi~_ **

My family and I are dirt-poor. Living on the streets, no money, basically begging for food kind of poor. The richest of the rich scoff at us, turn up their noses, and walk away. Only those who started as we are and finangled their way up give us anything.

Everyone knows—it’s practically law—that only people with the money to buy their way in can go on interdimensional travel voyages. It’s tens of millions of dollars to go, and people like us haven’t the courage to challenge the elite or sneak on for fear of punishment.

Feli is sick. Sebastian would never admit to it but he’s starting to lose hope. We’re really hungry: we haven’t eaten in going on a week now. The current offered voyage travels to the only place I know with free medicines and food, any kind of life necessities. Whatever you take you can bring back.

I’m going to take the biggest risk of my life. I’m going to infiltrate the elitist voyage into the unknown.


	2. My Turn To Be Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni is excited to be captain this time! :D

**_~Toni~_ **

I’ve never been captain of a voyage. They tell me it’s because I’m too emotional, but the real reason is because I often bend the rules for the sake of humanity and empathy. If some poor kid sneaks on, I’d let it slide because fuck they deserve life and home and life’s necessities as much as the next person.

This time, they couldn’t find anyone. Everyone is on voyages elsewhere or on vacation. They reluctantly—with many warnings to follow the rules and kick poor kids off the flight—made me captain this time, and I have my chance to prove myself as a leader and a human being.

I’ve met the crew and interacted with them previously. The right-hand man is my best friend Gil, and I know most everyone else. I’ve met the engineers and the med lab techs, I’ve met the doctors and the scientists, I’ve met everyone and gotten some personal knowledge of them. I’ve met Gil’s brother Ludwig now, since he’s our luggage lifter for the voyagers, and his dad because he’s the main doctor. I’ve met everyone.


	3. Guarded And Fenced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi sneaks onto the voyage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni has a reputation...

**_~Lovi~_ **

I make it past the guards while they’re occupied with a giant jeep entering the fenced-off voyage loading pad. I managed to borrow some nice clothes from a thrift shop so I don’t look homeless, but they’re decent instead of amazingly gorgeous and expensive like the others will have.

I’ve heard good things about the captain piloting this voyage. His name is Antonio Fernández Carriedo, and word has it he’ll never trade the lives of his crew and passengers—the lives of living, breathing, feeling creatures—for money or status or even for material things that others would salivate over. Most people call him Toni.

The voyage is still one person short with all the RSVPs and arrivals. They close the gate behind me, however, because apparently that jeep is some really important guy and they want to minimize the risks of someone like me getting on.

They rush around preparing for take off and say something about ‘ _ the founder of dimension travel _ ’. I guess he’s some prissy rich guy who doesn’t care about people enjoying his invention but rather about the pleasure he can get out of it and the resources he can exploit out of the natives. I’m not too surprised; most inventors nowadays are richy-rich assholes looking to line their own pockets.

The guard is flustered and occupied with rushed greetings and formalities. I slip past him and tiptoe into the unoccupied pod, and I close the door and sit down to breathe. Hopefully they’ll take off before they notice me, and-or I’ll escape back home before they notice me—or, worst case scenario,  _ if  _ they find out it’s Toni who finds out and he’s just like they said he is and lets me stay…maybe even gives me a helping hand.


	4. Just Checking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni checks in with his crew and passengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Toni being adorable and checking in with everyone. :D

**_~Toni~_ **

I’ve checked in with everyone in their pods, except one. I met the inventor of this machine, too. He’s self-centered, short-sighted, and crude—but status-wise I’m below him, and I can’t do anything about it. I’m just the captain and I’m not allowed to decide who comes and who goes.

I sigh, dig my fists into my eyes until it hurts a little trying to handle the frustration, and approach the last door.

All the other pods were open. This one is closed, and almost appears to be empty at first glance. There’s no material things stashed on the shelves, no travel bags, nothing—but upon second glance, there’s a person. This must be one of the ‘ _ stowaways _ ’ they warned me to kick off, but fuck them I refuse to kick an innocent citizen off this ship.

I step away from the pod and leave it alone. If they really are a stowaway, greeting them would scare the living bejeezus out of them, and I don’t want that. I’ll let them come to me if they want to talk.


	5. Captain Carriedo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi exits his pod to get a good look around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a longer chapter! I realized posting this how short the first few were. 0.o

**_~Lovi~_ **

Several hours after take off (it takes one day to dimension-travel, and it can’t turn around mid-flight) the people are milling about chatting amongst themselves. I’m able to slip out and peek around now, purposely avoiding the inventor. He’d recognize lower-class clothes in a heartbeat.

Many members of the crew pass repeatedly by me and say nothing. No comments on my clothes, no complaints, no ‘ _ you shouldn’t be here _ ’. Something’s strange about that.

“Hi,” a soft, warm voice turns me around.

My breath catches in my throat. He’s tall, handsome, tan, muscular, emerald-eyed, and well-dressed. The only real identifying thing I see is a family signet ring, other than the small symbol identifying him as crew. He wears a captain’s hat and stands with stature.

I take a small step back. A shy smile breaks across his lips, and he steps a little forward to cover that distance I just added between us. “I don’t bite, it’s okay.”

He lifts his hands to display himself harmless and unarmed. This must be the captain everyone was raving on, the one who values life over status.

I blink at him, breathe, and wait. I don’t answer.

He lowers his hands to his sides and takes a tiny step forward. “I’m Toni. I’m the captain.”

_ I figured. _

I clear my throat, shuffle my feet a little. He understands it to be an acknowledgement.

He gestures vaguely behind him. “I’ve met everyone on here. Since the door was closed I figured you wanted to be left alone.”

I breathe in slow. He seems to be the kind of person they were saying he is, which means I should be okay.

“I, uh, asked the crew to leave you alone,” he says. He rubs uncertainly at his head. “We have food and a doctor if you need anything.”

_ Wow. He really is like they said. _

He clear his throat and fidgets. I glance down briefly at my borrowed clothes, then tilt my head at him.

I don’t even have to speak. He understands what I’m asking and shrugs. “Everyone is a living, breathing person. If you’re going to risk that much, you clearly have a good reason…and I don’t wanna get in the way of that reason.”

“I’ve heard stories about you,” I acknowledge aloud, quiet so as not to be overheard.

He blushes and flashes that cute shy smile. “Really?”

I nod. His shoulders reach towards his ears and he laughs a quiet, uncertain laugh. “Oh.”

“You’ve got a bit of a reputation among the poor as the rich guy with a heart,” I add.

He blushes again. “I didn’t know that.”

“The more you know, I guess.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he agrees. He shifts uneasily. “I’ve got a reputation as a rule-breaker among the rich and a bit of a bad rep, so it’s nice that someone likes me.”

“Who’s this?” a snide rich voice asks.

I whirl around. It’s the inventor, the guy you really don’t wanna piss off because he’s willing to kill poor kids who get in his way or mouth off.

Toni moves just past me, a bit towards him. “It doesn’t matter to you, so don’t pretend it does. The only thing you need to know is he’s with me, so leave him alone.”

Rich inventor sneers, glares death in my direction, and swaggers off.

I shiver and back away a step. “Being here makes me nervous.”

“It’s bound to make anyone nervous,” Toni agrees. He turns around. “But you belong here just as much as everyone else.”

He takes my hand and gently draws me with him onto the bridge. “Besides, I’d be willing to bet quite a lot of money that you’re just as smart as if not smarter than most of the people here. They can’t figure this stuff out.”

He brings me up to one of the screens. It’s not complicated; there are categories for ‘ _ flying _ ’ that has speed settings and a gravity on-off switch (it’s currently on), ‘ _ landing _ ’ that has a landing pad code and landing pads, and ‘ _ entertainment _ ’ that has broadcast games, music, and videos. There’s even a closet nearby with board games and other physical games, and a button on the screen to unlock the door.

Just a couple taps and I can find criminal records. It’s got a watchlist of poor people who got away from confinement and made off with free stuff, and a lot of breaking-and-entering watchlists. Sebastian is on one of them, and it says he broke into some rich asshole’s study and took some equipment. He told us recently he was building some kind of technology; I guess that asshole is where some of the tools and stuff came from.

I point Sebastian out to Toni. “Fratello.”

“That’s your brother?” he asks.

I nod. “He hasn’t eaten in a week and he’s starting to give up.”

“What is he building, a rocket?”

“I don’t know. He said he was building some technology.”

“Hm. That’s a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah,” I agree. “He’s resourceful.”

“He’s a thief,” someone says over my shoulder.

I whirl around and punch the guy. He falls over flat on his ass and gives me a blank look of surprise, and for a minute or so makes no move to get up.

I shake my hand and wipe off the little bit of blood. “ _ Don’t _ talk about him like that. He’s a good person in a really bad situation.”

The guy gets to his feet. “Who are you?”

“It doesn’t matter. Go bother someone else.”

Toni draws me a step away from him. “That’s his brother. Watch what you say.”

“You’re taking the weirdo’s side?” the guy demands.

Toni raises his eyebrows. “I’m taking the side of a scared kid. Fuck off.”

The guy sashays off. Toni turns us both back to the screen, and quietly he says, “Take it easy. You don’t want to piss off a bunch of people or they’ll try and ditch you.”

“No one gets to talk about him like that.”

“I understand. I’m just saying be careful.”

I look around a bit. They have nothing on Feli, which is good. They don’t have anything on me either. We’re in the clear so far.

“Who’s Feli?” Toni asks.

“Fratellino.”

He tilts his head. “Little brother?”

“Sì.”

“Ah,” he acknowledges.

It’s quiet a moment. Toni half-smiles. “You kinda just proved me right.”

“Huh?”

“They can barely read the categories.”

I laugh a little. “That’s ludicrous.”

He shrugs. “It’s true.”

He shows me around to the other screens and lets me watch people tamper with them. There’s a bridge-to-engineering communications desk, a bridge-to-sciences communication desk, a bridge-to-doctor communications desk, and a this-craft-to-outsiders communication desk. There’s a speed monitor, a pressure monitor, an air filter monitor, and a shield monitor. The shield, Toni tells me, protects the craft from unfamiliar atmospheres that could damage (usually rust or melt) the craft otherwise.

“That’s kinda scary,” I acknowledge.

“Also a little cool because we have the tech to protect ourselves,” Toni points out.

“Yeah, I guess.”

He moves up to the captain’s chair, taps a button, and turns us to let me watch a screen peel back in front of the chair. The screen uncovers a thick glass window that opens into space, and all that’s visible now is black with white streaks.

“We can’t leave this open long while in transit,” Toni says, “or the glass will shatter. But it’s cool to glance out every once in awhile.”

“Captain,” someone calls.

Toni closes the window and draws me over. The person says another craft is sending out distress signals, and it appears to be a vessel from Earth that had its shield damaged. “What should we do, sir?”

“Reach out to the vessel and ask what assistance they require,” Toni recommends.

“Yes, sir,” the lady says. She picks up the headset and puts it on, presses a button, and says, “Lola two-five-six to damaged vessel. We have captured your distress signals and are nearby. What assistance do you require?”

A crackly, loud voice comes through the other end. “This is Captain Marcus Morrow of the vessel Lancaster three-nine-eight. Our shields are down and our engine has been destroyed by gunfire.”

Toni blinks a bit. “Gunfire?”

“Did you say gunfire, sir?” the lady asks.

“Yes, ma’am, gunfire. Giant alien gunfire. They can attack mid-jump, when we’re defenseless. Almost half of my crew are dead.”

Toni starts to pace. “We don’t have guns; this is a travel ship. What can we do?”

“Consult the logs, see what kind of weaponry we have on board,” the lady suggests.

“No,” Toni says, “we had to have the guard check for weapons so I know we don’t have any on board.”

“Can’t you send people over?” I ask. “Hasn’t anyone here been taught weaponless self-defense?”

“Um…no?” the lady blinks.

Toni turns from his pacing. “We don’t want to lose any of our own, though.”

“By technicality I’m not one of those people,” I point out. “Most people don’t want me here, though you don’t seem to mind. By necessity my brothers and I had to learn weaponless self-defense, since weapons can be taken and used against you but your body can’t be taken from you as a weapon.”

Toni blinks. The lady turns towards me. “Who  _ are  _ you?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m a nobody and I’d rather it stay that way.”

Toni breathes. “You could die.”

“So? I’ve nearly died a million times; death doesn’t scare me. There are lives at risk, Toni, and you are wasting time bickering over the specifics.”

The lady turns to the vessel. “Are there any weapons on board or any creatures?”

“Yes creatures, no weapons. They have most of my crew tied up on the bridge, and I’m off in a communications room trying to get help.”

She sighs and looks again to Toni for direction.

Toni rocks back and forth indecisively on his feet for a minute, then sighs. “Fine, how about this.  _ If _ you let the doctor take a look to make sure you’re okay afterwards and actually make the effort to come back alive, I’ll allow it.”

“Sir?” the lady questions him.

“Fine.”

Toni turns to her and breathes. “Tell him to open some kind of transporting network so we can send help over.”

She sighs. “Sir, do you have a transportation network you can open to let us send help over?”

“Yes,” he says. There’s a faint click. “It’s online. I don’t know for how long.”

Toni takes my hand, moves over, and flips a digital switch on his dash. “Just be careful.”

“Yeah, sure.”


	6. Vessel Lancaster 398

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi goes to Vessel Lancaster 398...alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we finally get something solid on where the heck Lovi is from and who he is. :D
> 
> Trigger warning: Lovi talks about his dad and how he got where he is...and there's a lot of bad stuffs like abuse so...

**_~Lovi~_ **

The bridge is full of crowded, terrified crew members backed in one corner. Their captain is across the room at the communications bar like I figured, and an electrified weapon (it’s spewing sparks) is pressed to his neck—and more threaten his crew.

“Oi, fucktards!” I call after the ugly grey-skinned slimy creatures. All of them turn and lumber generally my direction.

The captain sinks to the floor and starts to sob.

I pick up a discarded repair tool, pull back, and chuck it. It goes right through the creature’s head, and one drops onto the floor. They’re physically vulnerable, which means I can fight.

I scoop up discarded sharp objects and hurl them at the lighting-wielding creatures. There are a ton of them, but to my advantage they’re slow. I’m able to take all but two down before they reach me.

I duck underneath the hands of one and jump-kick it. It bends strangely flat over the board, then pops back up.

_Reforming jelly-like creatures. Fucking wonderful. I hate my life._

I scoop up a tool and throw it. It goes through the creature’s eye, and that creature collapses at the feet of the other.

I back several steps away searching for another weapon. There has to be something solid.

The crewmates start to call “watch behind you” as if cheering for me. I scoop up a wrench and throw it, and the creature falls to the floor.

I turn around. There’s a similar creature ten times that size, and it’s bent over a little since it’s taller than the space available.

_Oh no._

The creature scoops me up like I’m nothing and holds me up to one giant solid-violet eye. I hold really still, because in my experience squirming will only make things so much worse.

The creature grunts and throws me. I’m chucked into the weakening open window, and drop to the ground winded and alarmed.

I roll up to my feet. Now I’m near the crew. “Find something solid,” I tell them, “something big. Throw it.”

“It absorbs energy and just gets bigger,” one of them says. “It absorbed our phaser guns.”

I shrug. “It’s probably made of energy. Energy can’t be destroyed, but matter can disperse it. Find something solid, something big.”

The captain drags a giant box over. “It’s full of tools but if you—”

I scoop the box up and throw it. It goes through the giant creature’s eye, and it explodes in a shower of sparks and flung goo.

I duck under a glop of the goo and step away from the wall. I take a second to breathe. “What the hell did you get yourself into?”

“We were just trying to go home and they tagged us,” someone says.

“We blew up their planet,” the captain admits quietly. “It didn’t look occupied, and the few things that seemed to have lived there were long dead. They tagged us for about a year now, and we’re running out of fuel.”

“Maybe you should’ve done a better job checking,” I point out.

“We should’ve,” he agrees somberly.

There’s a pause, and he offers his hand. “I, uh, I’m Captain Morrow.”

I shrug. “I’m a nobody who happened upon the least judgmental rich asshole to ever exist.”

He blinks. “You can’t be a nobody with skills like that.”

“Being poor means rich kids will beat the shit out of you until eventually you die. It also means if you don’t learn how to fight you _will_ die.”

“…Oh.”

“At least tell us your name,” one of the crewmates says. “You just saved our lives.”

“Lovino Vargas.”

“Like the infamous Admiral Alessio Vargas?” the captain blinks.

“Ugh.”

He furrows his brows. “What?”

“He’s my grandfather, so yes. But he’s also an abusive rich dick and we hate him.”

“Oh. He seemed okay.”

“Yeah, but he’s a war-monger. If there isn’t conflict he seeks it out—even within his own family.”

“Oh.”

I move over to the communications board and tap a couple buttons. It extends that call back to Toni. “Vessel Lancaster three-nine-eight calling for Lola two-five-six.”

“This is Lola two-five-six. Go on.”

“We’re going to need transport; they’re out of fuel. These creatures feed on energy, so any kind of blaster makes them stronger. They can only be killed by solid objects like wrenches.”

“Oh. Shit. Um, sir? We need transport for—how many people are there?”

I do a quick headcount. “Fifteen.”

“Sixteen,” she says, as if she knows I excluded myself.

Toni says something. She taps some screen. “Transporters are open.”

I flip the physical switch, and with a blankness we’re all on Toni’s ship. The damaged ship drops out of warp-travel immediately, and starts to dive endlessly down out of sight.

She turns the switch off. Toni welcomes the newcomers aboard and brings them to the doctor, and once they’re all tucked away in the tiny guest cabins he brings me over too.

The doctor is a tall blonde German man with an accent. He does a few quick scans and says I seem okay, then says that was a dangerous move. Toni agrees, then says it was our only choice and it saved fifteen innocent lives.

The doctor lets me up. I shrug. “Not as innocent as you might think. They blew up their planet, it’s why they got tagged. They thought it was unoccupied so it was an elementary mistake, but it cost them half their crew and nearly their lives.”

“Oh,” Toni blinks. “Well…it won’t happen again.”

“Sure it won’t.”

Toni draws me from the room back onto the bridge. The crew are staring at the front of the vessel, because on the screen is one of those creatures but a little more solid than the ones who were aboard the ship. “You’re harboring the monsters who destroyed our home and our children,” it says. “You will pay for this…you will pay dearly. Send those monsters to us or prepare to meet your maker.”

Toni and I look to each other. Toni steps towards the screen, makes the assumption he can be heard, and says, “No. We are a peaceful travel vessel, and all lives are worth saving—including yours. We will not hand over tainted lives. They made a grave mistake, I’ll grant you that, but they did not do so on purpose and as such I will not stand for their murders.”

“Sir?” the lady asks, turning in her chair. “That’s a linfenion. They’re one of the most powerful known creatures to exist. You don’t want to challenge them.”

Toni shrugs. “I won’t hand over lives.”

I take a small step forward. “Is there anything we can give you that will make you change your mind?”

“No. Lives or death.”

I look uncertainly to Toni. “This is a really, really bad idea.”

The lady flips the outer communication distress signal on. “Lola two-five-six to home, Lola two-five-six to home. We have encountered a linfenion and a vessel which made the grave mistake of destroying their planet, and—despite our best interests—the captain is refusing to turn over the remaining crew,” she says into the receiver. “Send backup effective immediately.”

“Home to Lola two-five-six, do not engage,” the voice returns. “I repeat, do not engage. Hand over the remaining crew and flee.”

She looks to Toni, but he shakes his head. She sighs. “I apologize, sir, but we have no choice.”

She turns off the communication and hides her head in her hands.

“You have made a grave mistake, young capitán.”

The feed cuts. Toni breathes in slow. “Bad ideas often end in great rewards. Watch me.”

“You’re insane.”

“Maybe a little,” he allows.

There’s a faint _vwoop_ , and before us stands a six-foot-tall grey humanoid. It’s the same face from the screen. “You will pay for the destruction of our people.”

Toni breathes. “You underestimate the power of kinship.”

“Kinship?” I blink.

Toni sighs. “He goes by another name but that’s my dad and his crew. I didn’t say anything because I figured it would be a problem.”

“Oh.”

Toni takes a shaky step forward. “I won’t let you kill my father. Yes he fucked up, yes you lost, but so did he. That crew is like family to him—some of them _are_ family—and you just tore half of his heart from his chest metaphorically speaking. Leave them alone.”

“Half his heart?”

The creature disappears, and with this strange freezing cold ice-water feeling my body drops to the floor. Then it gets back up, but I’m not the one at the wheel.

“Is this thing worth it?” the creature asks. “Is this suicidal, scarred, beaten child worth all this?”

Toni blinks. “What?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” It laughs. I’m trying to fight it, but I’m losing big time. “It tells you that it’s a nobody, when in reality it’s a somebody who hates itself. Admiral Alessio Vargas is indeed his grandfather, and a thief for a brother.”

I kick at it. It laughs. “Oh, he didn’t like that.”

Toni breathes in shakily. “Let him go.”

“Why should I? It’s not like this broken Italian has anything left to live for. I could kill it so easily, and it wouldn’t even hold on.”

_No no stop stop it leave him out of this let me go stop it!_

He picks up the knife out of my pocket, opens it, and rams it into my chest. I’ve never been bold enough or motivated enough to do it on my own, but now it’s been done.

It lets go. My body collapses onto the ground, and I’m coughing up blood.

Now it captures the albino Toni recognized as his right-wing man. “Is this child worth it?”

“Stop!” Toni commands. “Leave my friends out of this.”

Toni is crying. I tug the knife out, close it, pocket it, and stagger up to my feet. I run from the room before he can stop me, and I run for the captain he’s protecting.

I stumble down on the floor and shove the door open. “Sir. We need your help.”

He rolls to his feet and pulls me up to mine. “What happened?”

“We found their mom or something and Toni refuses to let you go.”

“Toni?” he repeats blankly.

“Captain Carriedo, yeah.”

He curses. “Damn it, son.”

He wakes his crew, and they follow me onto the bridge. The albino is stronger than me, and he’s gasping but he’s speaking for himself. “Stop it. How does anyone fight this thing?”

Toni turns around. “Dad.”

The captain moves up to him and scoops him up. “You’re such an idiot.”

Toni hugs him back. “I love you.”

“I love you too son.”

I take a couple shaky steps towards the albino. “Let him go. Leave everyone else out of this. I’m not scared of dying, so if you want someone to die don’t let it be them.”

It jumps back into me. “If you insist.”

The albino drops, then leaps to his feet trembling from head to toe. He runs from the room calling for his dad.

I close my eyes, breathe myself calm, and sit down. My body listens and follows suit, sits down criss-cross applesauce and folds its hands in its lap. “Interesting. The little Italian accepts death.”

I squeeze my eyes shut and reach out as far as I can. _Dad. If you can hear me. I need you._

_Ugh. Last time we spoke you told me—_

_I know, and I’m sorry. But I need your help. Please. I don’t know who else to ask. Sebastian and Feli and I haven’t eaten in weeks and Sebastian is hopeless and Feli is sick and dying. Please. I don’t have anywhere to turn._

“Hm. Curious little thing.”

Toni lets go of his dad to turn around. “What?”

“It reaches for its parents as if in prayer.”

_Fine. It’ll scare your friends shitless._

_They’re not my friends. They’re rich and assholish and cliquey._

_Fine._

Now a _fwoosh_ breaks the silence. My body leaps to its feet, and the creature stumbles down into a kneel. “O great lionelenfathen, I salute you.”

“Huh?” Toni blinks.

I open my eyes, reach forward, and grab the wheel. If I stay calm this will work. “Dad.”

Toni’s eyes widen and turn to my dad. “What the hell is going on?”

“It’s a long story,” I toss Toni’s way, “and this is a huge risk. But sometimes, like you said, the bonds of kinship blow everything else out of the water.”

I take a step towards Dad. “I’m sorry.”

“I believe you. Watch what you say this time.”

The creature reappears a step in front of me, stumbles down in front of him, and kneels down. “O great lionelenfathen, how may I serve you?”

I fall to the ground. My body is too weak on its own; I’m dying.

Toni runs over and slides down at my side. His hands lift me up into his lap, and he sort of hugs me. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

Dad lays a hand on the creature’s head. “Go start a new planet, and leave all of these humans alone. Leave these pitiful creatures to their misery.”

It rises to its feet and disappears. I drag my weak limbs upright and stumble across the room, and I manage to make it to him and catch my last fall on him. “I’m sorry for everything.”

Dad kneels down with me and cradles my limp limbs to his chest. “All is forgiven, my dear son.”

After a moment, he starts to sing. It’s not a song I recognize, but it seems to be a lullaby of some kind from his childhood on the since-destroyed planet FathenLionelen.

It’s quiet for awhile, other than Dad’s soft lyrics. I don’t know what the words are or what they mean, if they’re a goodbye or a love song. All I know is his voice is soft and sweet and I’m hovering weightlessly where I should be falling.

The words shift seamlessly into Italian, and from there to English. “ _Hush little baby, don’t you cry. Don’t cut your arms, don’t say goodbye. Put down that razor, put down that light. It might seem hard but you’ll win this fight. O sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear…how much I love you…please don’t take my sunshine away…_ ”

It slips back to FathenLionelen. This cycle continues for several minutes, and I just hover endlessly on some kind of cloud nine.

The damage done to my chest closes itself, the blood returns to flood my arteries and help me breathe, and the knife clears of all the dried blood chips. I don’t know what he’s doing, but whatever it is…whatever he’s doing is saving my life.

He stops singing, and he leans in to press gentle lips to my forehead. “Be more careful.”

He pulls me upright a little as feeling returns to my limbs. I reach over to hug him and hide my eyes in his shoulder. “Ti amo, Papà.”

“Ti amo anche, Lovino.”

He gets up to his feet and lifts me up with him, then sets me down on my feet and lets go. “I don’t have the energy to do that all the time. Don’t waste the time you have.”

He disappears. I fall forward to fold down on my knees, hide my face in my hands, and start to cry. I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about personal things—I never really am because I don’t get the opportunity to get close to people—and now they know. They all know.

Toni runs across the room and slides down at my side, and he draws me to him and hugs me. “Thank you.”

I reach over to hug him, if only because he knows anyway and he’s still being his same loving self, and I need that so badly.

Noise explodes. Someone screams “It’s an alien!” and runs from the room. Most of them say similar things and run, with the exception of the frozen crew and Toni.

I curl a little in on myself. Toni draws me into his lap a little and tightens his grip. “It’s okay, Lovi. It’s okay. Breathe. I’ve got you.”

I wrap my arms tightly around him and curl up. “I hate my life.”

Toni hushes me and kisses my cheek. “Not everyone’s a racist xenophobic homophobic sexist transphobic dickwad.”

I snuggle into him. “Most people are, in my vast experience.”

“I don’t give a damn what people have done in the past, because I want to be someone who turns that around for the future,” Toni says in one breath but very firmly. He inhales quickly. “I don’t care who your parents are or what you are or what you like so long as you don’t hurt me or people I care about—and from what I’ve seen and what I understand, you won’t.”

I breathe out slow. “No, I’m not that kind of person.”

“Good. That’s what matters.”

“My grandfather on my mom’s side—Admiral Alessio Vargas—destroyed Dad’s planet and kidnapped the people who escaped. He beat them, raped them, treated them otherwise as nonliving creatures. He brought them to Earth and put them on display in a zoo like they were less than human. Dad escaped, and Mom helped him to sneak away. In their time together they kinda hit it off and had Sebastian, then Mom found out it was her dad and she got in some major squabbles with him. Nine years later she ran away from home and found Dad again, and she moved in with him and had me, then two years later they had Feli. My grandfather still believes them to be less than human, and he calls us nasty half-breeds.”

I breathe in slow. “People assume alien means violent and scary demon, but Dad’s people—the FathenLionelen people—were peaceful. They were farmers and singers and dancers and druidic saints.”

Toni struggles a shaky breath. Some of my muscles relax. “I’m used to people wanting me dead for that, dead for being trans, dead for being gay, dead for being poor, dead for not being what they expect me to be.”

Toni leans his head on mine and breathes out slowly. I close my eyes. “I’ve never had anyone apologize or say hi or otherwise treat me like a decent human treats another thinking, feeling, breathing being. Word spread from the rich assholes as an insult to the poor people, the different people, the excluded minorities like me and my brothers that there was one person who was decent, one person who didn’t care what you were, one person that always saw the best in the worst of people. At first it was a rumor, then it was a name: Antonio Fernández Carriedo, typically addressed as Toni.”

Toni half-laughs (a brief, choked ‘ _ha_ ’), a weak attempt at appreciation.

I open my eyes. “It gave the beaten and oppressed hope. It gave Sebastian hope. It gave Feli hope. But I was too far gone and assumed it was just another stupid rumor, because after Dad told me the truth about our ethnicity and heritage and I got beaten almost dead by spoiled rich kids I started to believe there was no such thing as good and that it was a futile hope people held on to just to keep themselves alive and moving forward for another day in a world that doesn’t _want_ them to survive.”

I breathe shallowly. “I’m scared of hope, of attachment, of people in general. But for some reason you don’t scare me, and that fact scares me in and of itself.”

I pause because I don’t know where to go from here. Toni takes the opportunity to jump in and voice his own opinion on the situation: “Hope isn’t always futile, and though this is strange to say the rumors are true. I will never judge a book by its cover or its generalized abstract or its table of contents, because I got so used to rejection by potential friends for the same damn reason that I vowed to never hurt anyone else like that. What matters is the content of your character as told by your actions, not where you’re from or who you came from or what people think or say about you. You’ve already saved my dad’s life on a whim and my life on a risky jump of faith, and that speaks volumes about your character. I don’t need to know everything, though knowledge is never a bad thing because it can give us common ground on which to build a strong friendship.”

He pauses to breathe. “No rich asshole is going to hurt you, nor ignorant jerk, nor anyone kick you off this vessel. I’m the captain, and if they don’t like it they can jump ship for all I care.”

My body relaxes against his. I reach up to kiss his forehead, because Dad didn’t just do that because he’s taller than me. If it’s the forehead, we can do a number of things—in this case, it means drawing him inside my head and tying that unbreakable knot of trust that goes both ways and allows me inside his scrambled brain screaming empathy.

I breathe and settle down against him. “Thank you.”

“Wh-what is—”

“Shhh.”

“Huh?”

I sigh and look up. “I’m half alien. That alien part? See, my dad’s people were druidic saints because of their powers. They had a number of things they called gifts that nowadays we call curses. In this case, it means that under the right circumstances I can bond our minds together. What that means is if I need help you’ll hear me call, and if you need help all you need to do is think ‘ _oh no_ ’ and I’ll be there. You can hear me across the multiverses, across dimensions, across all of space and time, and I can hear you. It’s something that my dad’s people did frequently as a symbol of trust and friendship, because it can’t be undone and it means that even if it’s unwanted we can read one another’s minds.”

Toni blinks. “Oh.”

“Dad did it to me and my brothers when we were young because he wanted no secrets between us and because if we were ever in trouble he’d hear us call. You’re the first person to express concern, to treat me like a being with emotions and history and, in your words, intelligence. You’re the first person to not care about who my dad is or where I’m from or what I am.”

Toni blushes and smiles. “Is it bad that I like you?”

“Oh god no.” I shrug. “It’s rare, _extremely_ rare. It basically never happens to me. But as someone who has no friends and sometimes needs some serious emotional support, that’s a wonderful thing.”

He relaxes and smiles, and he reaches over to kiss my cheek again. I lean my head on his chest and curl up in his lap, and now I’m quiet.

Now the crew explodes with questions, but not with fearful exclamations like the ones who ran away. Toni tightens his grip, then gets to his feet holding me cradled to his chest. “I’m gonna go sleep and try to wrap my head around all of this. You guys get us to our original intended destination.”

He walks out of the room, and he moves into his quarters and shuts the door. He sets me down on the bed, pushes his shoes off with his toes, and drops next to me. It’s quiet a minute, then he hugs me and pulls me up against him. “Let’s discuss this after I sleep, yeah?”

“M’kay.”


	7. Lovino’s Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni goes in Lovi's mind through their special bond...and isn't happy with what he finds. :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING. This is the backstory chapter...and there are SO many trigger warnings. All the abuses. All the homophobia and transphobia. Darkness everywhere. :/

**_~Toni~_ **

I take some of the time he’s asleep to slide through that connection and fall into the deep ocean of his mind. There’s an exploded ship on the horizon, a blazing pirate flag, the ocean is black as ink, the water is on fire, I’m on fire. Memories swirl in the water, sleek silver fish and giant black sharks that almost blend in with the water.

I reach out to touch a shark. It leaps up and swallows me whole, and I’m thrown through into a child’s bedroom.

Half-hearted but decent drawings litter the floor, some thumb-tacked to the walls. The blanket on the twin bed is black and fuzzy. There’s a giant dresser a step behind me, dark wood.

On top of the dresser sits a photo of a smiling young boy somewhere around three or four with Lovi’s curl sitting cross-legged on some tan floor carpet with those little spindly things. A little toddler giggles in the young boy’s lap with a tiny curl on the other side. A mid-teens boy half-smiling with the same curl sits on the other side with a gentle arm around the three year old. A tall man with Lovi’s curl and soft, warm, friendly amber eyes laughs next to them. He wears a Three Days Grace t-shirt and medium-dark blue jeans. I immediately feel a strong sense of respect and warmth for the man.

I get shakily to my feet and look around. This seems peaceful; it’s dark outside the deep blue curtains, and a green-numbered digital clock glows four o’clock.

Upon closer inspection, the same tiny boy from the picture who had the toddler in his lap is asleep under the sheets. A tiny MP3 blue player, an old Sony Walkman, is clutched in his fingers. A half-smile is on his lips and he seems generally peaceful.

I look back to the photo. The teen’s laughter doesn’t bring light to his eyes, and there’s something dark in the man’s eyes and the little kid’s eyes. The toddler’s laughter brings the most beautiful innocence and brilliance to his amber eyes.

I turn in a circle to look around. “I don’t understand.”

The bedroom door opens. It’s the middle of the night, so no one should be up.

A tall man without the curl but with those striking amber eyes enters the room. He looks similar in structure to the man in the photograph.

I look him up and down.  _ Who are you and what are you doing in a little kid’s bedroom in the middle of the—oh god. _

I breathe.  _ I know what this is. _

The man moves up and sits next to what I assume is a young Lovi, and he rubs his shoulder and removes his headphones to wake him up. “Hey, sweetie. I can’t sleep.”

Little Lovi opens those gorgeous green eyes, smiles softly, and turns over. He scoots up and hugs the man. “It’s okay, Zio Giovanni. You don’t have to be afraid of the dark.”

That voice is a little sleep-slurred and higher-pitched, but other than that the very same as the Lovino I’ve met. This is a young Lovi, that’s for sure. But I don’t understand why this is a shark and not a silver fish; sharks seem to represent nightmarish memories, and the fish—

The man scoops up Lovi. I follow him as he leaves the room and carries a sleepy little Lovi out and up into a hotel. The man flashes a key card and smiles, and he says he’ll be down in the morning with his son. The man behind the counter nods.

_ Son? That’s not your son. Papa is father, he called you Zio. I don’t know exactly what Zio is, but I know it isn’t Dad. _

I follow him into an elevator, up two floors, and into a room. Lovi is starting to yawn awake, simply because this appears to be strange to him. “Zio? Where are we going?”

He closes the door. “I’m staying here tonight because someone told me they were gonna hurt me. I figured I’d be safer here.”

“Who said that? That’s mean.”

He laughs. “It doesn’t matter, kiddo.”

“Why me?”

“You’re easier to wake up. There are a lot of deep sleepers at home.”

“Oh. Okay.”

_ I don’t understand. I don’t understand. _

The man sets Lovi down on the bed, closes the blinds and curtains, locks the door, and stows away the key card. I’m getting suspicious again. This seems off to me. I’m expecting something terrible to happen.

The man pulls his shirt off, and his jeans, and even his boxers. Again I’m getting wary of this man and what he’s doing.

Lovi rubs at his eyes and yawns this cute little kid yawn.

I feel strongly inclined to protect this innocent little kid, but I can’t move. I try to run to him, to shout, but he can’t hear me and I can’t move. It’s a memory, long passed and gone.

The man tears off a strip of duct-tape and tapes it down over Lovi’s mouth. The man is smart, and my heart is pounding extremely hard. I know what he’s going to do.

“Don’t do it! Leave him alone, you fucking perverted bastard, leave him alone!”

He doesn’t hear me. Sleepy Lovi is now awake. He blinks and tries to ask what he’s doing.

The man doesn’t answer. He pulls off Lovi’s pyjamas and pins him in place.

_ He’s transgender. Oh, this is so much worse. God, someone make it stop. Someone stop him. Leave him alone! _

Lovi squirms and exclaims in surprise and alarm, but his cries for help are muffled by the tape and this man’s hand.

I turn away and start crying. The man tells Lovi to stop fighting it, and there’s a loud scream muffled by duct-tape which is quickly followed by quiet sobbing.

_ Oh my god. Oh my god. Who the fuck are you? Why are you doing this? What is wrong with you? _

I’m spit back into the ocean coughing and gasping for breath. Another shark leaps from the water to swallow me, and now I’m beginning to understand. Lovi is scared of letting people in because the people he  _ has _ let in have hurt him, because the people he should be able to trust have treated him like shit.

This one is in the middle of a forest. A half-dressed seven-year-old is running down the dark path, stumbling over roots and desperately trying to escape whatever is following him.

I can hear that man’s voice again. “Get back here!”

“Go get ’im, son,” says another voice.

“Leave Lovi alone!” calls a little kid’s voice. “Let me go!”

_ Oh my god. Not this again. _

The man comes barreling around the corner. The little kid is held by his wrist by an old-ish man, a man who appears to be Giovanni’s father: Lovi’s grandfather, or one of them.

The kid has amber eyes and the curl of the toddler from before. He’s crying and yanking at his wrist and screaming for them to leave Lovi alone.

“Shut up, Felicia!” the old man says.

The little kid cries harder. “That’s not my name.”

The kid inhales and releases a sharp, high-pitched scream that rattles in my ears. “ _ Sebastian! _ ”

He gets slapped hard, but I can hear someone running to respond to his call. It hurts to breathe.

I run after little Lovi to see how far he’s gotten. He’s stumbled back to his feet and he’s running a good distance ahead, but I’m quick enough to catch up—which means so are they.

“Fuck off,” the old man’s voice says.

“Let Feliciano go,” another voice snaps. He grabs the little kid and comes running this direction at the kid’s request.

_ Come on, come on, get to Lovi. Protect him. Be better than them. _

The teen from the photo, slightly older, shoots around the corner and leaps forward to catch Lovi. He scoops him up and slides off the beaten path into the underbrush.

I follow, if only because I’m curious if they’ll make it. The ground feels real under my limbs as I slide down the forty-five degree slope with them.

The last little bit throws us out in open air, then they fall onto a different path. I fall on my hands and knees a step behind.

I get shakily to my feet.

The teen coughs a couple times, shoves to his feet and picks up the kids, and sprints up the path to the left. I follow him.

The teen makes it out onto a concrete road, skids down it to the right, rounds a left-hand corner, and skids up to the house two down. He runs inside, up a flight of stairs, and down the hall.

The teen skids to a stop and bumps into a door. He opens the door and slips inside, and I slip in behind.

The man from the photo lays in bed asleep. The teen is crying, and he shuts the door and locks it. He sets the kids down and moves over to shake the man. “Dad. Dad. Dad. Wake up. Dad. Papa. Svegliati. Per favore. Sono bisogno di te. Papa. Papa. Wake up.”

The little kid leaps over to hug Lovi. Lovi is crying, and he wraps his arms tightly around the little kid. “I’m sorry, Feli. I am so sorry.”

Feli curls his fingers into Lovi’s half-unbuttoned shirt. “I love you, Lovi.”

“I love you too, Feli.”

The teen shakes the man again. The man groans and turns over. “The hell, Sebastian? It’s the middle of the night.”

“I’m sorry. We need to run. Uncle Giovanni and Grandpa Alessio were trying to rape Lovi and they kidnapped Feli and we have five minutes and we need to run.”

Sebastian drags in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”

Lovi rolls up to his feet, and he gets up to take the teen’s pinky finger. “Sebastian?”

He looks to little Lovi. Lovi has those trembling I’m-about-to-cry lips. “I’m scared.”

Sebastian picks up Lovi and hugs him. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to protect you from them.”

Lovi snuggles into his brother. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, fratellino.”

Feli gets to his feet shaking, and he climbs onto the bed to sit on the man’s lap. “I’m scared, Daddy. My wrist hurts. My heart hurts. What are we gonna do?”

“You need to disappear,” their dad says. He rubs his eyes, sighs heavily, and gets to his feet holding Feli in his arms. He showers the little kid in kisses. “I am so sorry. I wish I could come with you, but someone has to keep them from finding you. I love you guys so much.”

Feli starts to cry again. “But I don’t wanna leave you, Daddy.”

The man smiles and presses his forehead to Feli’s. “I’ll always be right here with you. If you’re ever in trouble, call. I’ll hear you. Love can destroy any barriers.”

Feli curls a little in on himself. The man sets him down. “I’m sorry. I was trying to avoid this, but your grandfather thinks me and the FathenLionelen less than human and he will not stop here. He won’t stop until you’re dead. I’m only here because your mom wanted me to stay.”

Their dad accepts Lovi from Sebastian and tells him basically the same. He presses his forehead to Lovi’s, mutters a prayer, and kisses his cheek. “I love you. Call if you need anything.”

“I understand,” Lovi says quietly. His voice is trembling and soft. “But I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I. You can be sure of that, buddy. I love you guys so much.”

He sets Lovi next to Feli, then steps forward to hug the trembling teen. He kisses his cheek and hugs him, and though he doesn’t speak they make eye contact and seem to be talking for a minute. The trembling teen nods and hugs him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sebastian. Take care of your brothers, and stay safe. It’s a dangerous world out there full of savages and rich men who want nothing more than to line their pockets no matter the cost.”

“I know. I will.”

I’m spit back into the water.  _ I understand why you called on him, but there was something tense there and I— _

Another shark tackles me. I’m thrown into that house with a slightly younger Lovi talking to his dad alone. He says he doesn’t like girls that way, and his dad says that it doesn’t matter. “Unless you want people to hate you, unless you want to ruin everything you have, it has to be a girl.”

“Why isn’t Lucca good enough for you?”

“It’s not about whether he’s good enough. If you want to be a boy, you have to choose a girl. That’s just how the world works, buddy. I’m trying to keep you safe here.”

“I don’t care,” Lovi pouts. “Lucca is sweet and he likes me.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does,” Lovi argues.

_ So his dad is homophobic. Oh. _

They bicker for awhile, and Lovi runs from the room crying that he can’t tell his dad anything. He runs to Sebastian. His dad sighs and rubs his eyes. “This world will be the end of me…”

I’m thrown back into the water gasping like I’m drowning.

I reach out and catch a silver fish. There has to be something good, right?

The fish leaps up and its jaw unhinges to swallow me whole. I’m pitched onto my hands and knees in someone’s bedroom, a room littered with clothes.

I get shakily to my feet and turn in a few circles. The room appears to be empty.

The young teen enters the room and sits down sighing. “Ugh. I wish life was easier.”

Little Lovi comes running into the room crying, shuts the door, and leaps into his brother’s lap to hug him. “Daddy says Lucca isn’t good enough because he’s a boy.”

_ Oh, this is the good part to the shark! I know about this. _

Sebastian is startled from his own musings to acknowledge his crying little brother. His arms slide around him warmly and draw him to his chest. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Who’s Lucca?”

“Lucca is this really nice boy at school,” Lovi says. He pulls back to look at Sebastian sniffling and trembling-lipped. “He’s tall, brunette, blue-eyed, pale, skinny, and nice. He kissed me after school today and ran off. Daddy says because he’s a boy, I can’t love him. He said I have to pick a girl, but I don’t like girls. I don’t care about money or status so long as they’re nice.”

_ He’s homosexual panromantic! He likes nice people. That’s awesome. _

“I’m sorry, buddy,” Sebastian says. He tightens his grip on Lovi. “Most people will tell you that. You have to be careful who you talk to.”

“But I should be able to tell Daddy!”

“Yes, you should. I’ll talk to him about it, okay?”

Lovi sniffs and nods. “Okay.”

Sebastian kisses Lovi’s cheek and flashes a bitter and weak smile. “The world isn’t always fair. I wish it was, but the world isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. The world is rich short-sighted pricks looking to line their pockets trailed by oblivious jackasses followed by pain. It’s a harsh world we live in and I don’t know how to fix it. I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make it better but I’m just one person and the world needs to change.”

Lovi throws his arms around his brother and sobs onto his shoulder. “Lucca  _ is  _ good enough.”

“Yes, he is good enough. But the world will get in your way, and you have to be prepared to take all of them on to win him.”

Lovi falls asleep in his brother’s lap. He legitimately cries himself to sleep in Sebastian’s lap.

Sebastian sighs, grumbles, and gets up carefully holding Lovi. “If there’s anyone we should be able to talk to, it’s Dad. Lovi shouldn’t leave his side crying.”

I’m thrown into calmer waters. Sebastian is a good person, like Lovi was saying. I like him too.

I can do this forever. All the things he won’t speak but he granted me permission to see, all the things he never talks about are mine for the choosing.

I want to understand Lovi, I want to find all the reasons to love him, so I’ll look for everything he’ll allow me to see.


End file.
